Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. Just slap them in the face and move on!
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot” ...you`re wasting everybody’s time.
Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.