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I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
I can´t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
Personally, I think failure should be an option
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.