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No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
life is too short to match socks
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.
I try and inspire at least one person everyday to leave me the f*ck alone.