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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....