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I`m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered is god playing angry birds hmm
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie