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The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
I`d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can`t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
My mind has a mind of its own.
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...