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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I got up… goodnight!
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Mcdonalds Drive thru: Do you want a girl toy or a boy toy? Me: You have those here?!
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.
If nobody comes from the future to stop you, how bad can the decision really be?