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First the Jerk cut me off in traffic, then stole my parking space, then his stupid car got paint all over my key!
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Honking your horn won´t make them go any faster, but at least they´ll know that you´re an asshole.
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.