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If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
My doctor told me to start killing people. Well it wasn`t those exact words. He said I needed to reduce the stress in my life.
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
I`ve never watched a clown apply makeup but I imagine the process is similar to that of a Kardashian.
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today