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The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
I`d probably get a lot more done if it wasn`t for me.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Just ate a sleeve of crackers on my wife`s side of the bed.. I`ll let you know...
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!