Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store