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When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
Apparently, you shouldn’t ask your wife if she’s off her meds more than once a week…
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes