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A stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face, so I`ve probably only got two, maybe three, days to live.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
Iād like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
A simple "good morning beautiful" text could make any girl smile for the whole day. ..but knocking on the bathroom window first to ask her number sort of ruins it for some reason.
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers