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Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
I`m using voice-to-text to post this status. All I do is talk and it makes a text out of it. It`s really cool... Hey! What are you doing? That`s my phone! Give it back! Come back here, you son of a...
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)