Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Hell hath no fury like me when Iām slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
The best part about Valentine`s Day is that tomorrow is Friday.
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
Iām not brave. Iām just past the age where running is an option.
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
I like superheroes but I`d rather hang out with the villains.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?