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Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
Hey guy in the car behind me... Honking your horn isn`t going to help me type any faster.
that awkward moment when a bug or fly lands on your computer screen in your first reaction is to scare it away with the cursor.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(