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I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
I really just need a vodka cranberry and a slap on the a$$. Hold the cranberry.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.