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Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
It took dozens and dozens of flushes and a plunger, but my guinea pig`s funeral is finally over.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
My dog doesn`t always bark like there`s an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I`m home alone and in the shower.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
My credit score is so bad I have started receiving pre-declined credit card offers