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When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
I just saw a giant spider in my room so I sprayed it with hairspray. It`s not dead, but its hair looks fabulous.
Son: "Dad, can you write in the dark?" Dad: "Uh, I think so, why?" Son: "I need you to sign my report card."
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.