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Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong .
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
The heart wants what the heart wants. *opens 12th beer*
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?