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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
www.amish.com. How did this happen?
Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I`m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
Try trick or treating in spandex... I`ve seen how much it can hold.
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
One of the biggest decisions when you go to college is whether to join a fraternity or just be an asshole on your own.
I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English.