Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
You know that chick who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"... Yeah, well I ate her.
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
You can`t be late until you show up
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.