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I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there`s lunch brought in for everyone
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data