Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Dear Alcohol, Will you be my valentine? ?
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
Being in the doghouse isn`t so bad if there`s enough beer in the bowl.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.
Reincarnation is my only hope.