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Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room.
Me:"I had a dream about you." Girlfriend:"Awwwwww." Me:"Yeah, you died."
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
F*ck spiders. F*ck them and the way they move their legs, f*ck their ability to multiply by the million and f*ck their eight, beady little black eyes that offer unblinking, soulless glimpses of the blackest depths of hell itself.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
I hate when I explain how awesome I am to someone and they pretend to not be impressed.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business