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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Just so I`m sure to make friends, I like to walk in the bar carrying a handful of phone chargers.
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
Best thing to do when you`re stuck in a group text is to to throw your phone in the street and start a new life and maybe get some chipotle
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards