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They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
No pants are the best pants.
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
I wouldn`t want to fly Virgin. Who`d want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way?
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.