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"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you`re not in shape, it`s too far to walk back.
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.