Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people think you`re stupid.
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.