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Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Probably still mirrors.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!