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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
A wise man, will often say nothing
"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Relationship status: Just got screamed at for peeling the carrots wrong.
Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.