Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
You know you are paranoid when you think this joke is about you.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible.
If I hug you longer than 3 seconds, Iām picking your pockets.
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.