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Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought regular donuts.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
When a man says he`ll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that`s my stuff!"?
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.