Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them