Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend said we can`t hang out this weekend because she doesn`t really exist.
All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
I robbed a bank yesterday....now the question is, what to do with all that sperm....
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.