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If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn`t do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.
wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
If you win a years supply of calendars, you would only win 1 calendar.
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?