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As a man, EVERY month is `Breast Awareness Month` for me.
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.
If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone so for future reference you can use it as a valid excuse.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
is ready to have one too many!