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I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
Attention fuels immaturity
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
I smoked weed once and realized spoons are just little bowls on sticks
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
You say hangover. I say out of booze.