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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
No, I didn`t say I was a taxidermist. I said, I can stuff your beaver.
I hate it when I`m in a crowded elevator and yell out "GROUP HUG!" and people look at me all weird and stuff.. Making friends is hard.
As I get older my tastes are changing, for instance I used to not like brussels sprouts but now I don`t like people.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
If you ever find lotion on a guy`s night stand, it`s not because he wants to moisturize his skin.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.