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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Just drank a `coffee to go` while sitting. Screw the system!
If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I`m going to drink tonight.
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.