Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
I`m really good at acting like I`m sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.
I donΒ΄t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
If I hug you longer than 3 seconds, I’m picking your pockets.
To skip any youtube ad just change β€˜youtube’ to β€˜youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
Apparently when your girlfriend says "f*ck that bitch", you`re not supposed to take her seriously.
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.
YouΒ΄d be amazed how often IΒ΄m wrong when people say guess what