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That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come
I like how the package for cotton swabs says don`t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"