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I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.
Judging by the way some women wear makeup it`s rather obvious they didn`t excel at coloring as a kid ...
Just when you think someone couldn`t be any more annoying I test your theory.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.