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My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don`t run into anyone you know
Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people.
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!