Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Partying on my level requires years of training.
If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
My only trick for looking younger, is when an 80`s song comes on I try to look completely confused and slightly disgusted.
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.