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The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
I`ve just realised that I`ve got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
I have found my sleep number and it is eleven, eleven beers.
Don`t send me a ;) face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.