Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just once I`d like someone to call me "sir" without having to add "you need to calm down or we`re going to have to ask you to leave"
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
Keep calm and drink on.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a guy who has been single for longer than 6 months.
Don`t believe everything you think.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
Better late than pregnant.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.