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Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask, " Notice anything different?`... works EVERY time
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
My problem is that all food is comfort food
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.