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I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
Looks like I won`t be updating my status today...
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." β Children
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
Live For Today⦠Plan For Tomorrow⦠Party Tonight!
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.