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I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
Looks like I won`t be updating my status today...
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.