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People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
Nothing is more discouraging that unappreciated sarcasm.
Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets
I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
I don`t care if you wear footie pj`s or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADA$$.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.