Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don`t know what he laced them with but I`ve been tripping all day.
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
So I`m giving up drinking. Hard liquor. On Wednesdays. In June. Next year. (Maybe.)
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
"You`re going to love my friend. He`s hilarious." is still the best way to know you`re about to meet an annoying person.