Daily Silly Status

Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.

I’m trusting a whole lot of people not to randomly murder me throughout the day.

You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.

I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"

I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.

looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.

llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.

No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.

Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.

Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.

lord, we beg you for tupac, and in return you can have justin bieber

I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.

Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.