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My internet went down for about 5 minutes earlier....so I talked to my family.....they seem like nice people!
If Candy Crush had a face, I`d punch it.
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
My boss is having a colonoscopy today. I sure hope they find his head.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.
Day 10: I am thankful there are only 20 days left for all my friends to be thankful about how awesome their lives are.
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.