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Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.