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For once I’d like to get kicked into a bar
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying "I`m stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
Wonder if Jesus gets screwed out of birthday presents just because his birthday is so close to Santas?
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
Finally down to my pre-pregnancy/pre-kids weight...well...before my wife had kids I mean.
The only man worth waiting for is the delivery guy
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook