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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
More food should come with prizes inside it.
Life would be a lot easier if employers accepted excuses like “I’m sorry I can’t come into work today, I’m sleepy”
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
I just slammed hard on the brakes and found 3 lighters, $4.67 in change, condom box, empty flask, half an 1/8th, and a puppy.
I’m still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
maturity comes when you stop publishing every detail of your life on social media
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.