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Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don`t get her a bathroom scale. Just sayin"
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.