Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
Saw some idiot put a water bottle where the Pringles go on the treadmill.
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?