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I wish my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.
That fact that I need sun glasses to open my fridge means my night must have been awesome.