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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
I`m still waiting for that fairly tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eegs
A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you`re hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I’m really disappointed with Bill Gates.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
Cops never say “thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. It’s just plain selfish.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.