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I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
I have Beer.
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
My own personal hell sounds great, actually