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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I`ve disappointed a lot of people in my life, you`re not special.
Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Girl says to her Blonde friend, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blonde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian??
My credit score is just a picture of me crying in the front yard of a nice house.
awkward moment when the dentist is talking to you with his hands on your mouth
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.