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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she`s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
I wasn`t that drunk! "Bro, you went to the train station, smashed yourself against the wall, while yelling, Hogwarts here I come!"
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those medications.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.
I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he`s a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.
People say that I have no idea what hard work is. That`s not true! I know exactly what it is... How do you think I avoid it so easily?