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Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
The most expensive part of having kids is all the booze I drink.
I put the hot in psychotic.
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.