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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
Gas prices are a lot like girls: We just wish they would go down.
So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
Bless me Father for I hit send.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.