Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
The best thing about falling down when you`re home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
Why can`t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
I met a guy exactly like my father so I brought him home and my mom shot him.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.