Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
And then I was all: “I’m really getting sick of your shit, bitch.” And then she was all: “To speak with a representative please press 7.”
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
I was enjoying our conversation. Until you started talking....
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
I just ran a .003048K