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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
The word bed looks like a bed.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
I didn`t think a McDonald`s Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did...OMG, I ATE THE TOY!
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.